Something's Gotta Give

I woke up this morning and realized I was old. It started because my arms were asleep from laying on them all night, so I had no feeling in them.  Then, as they began to tingle and wake up, I felt my body refusing all executive orders from my brain to get up. It took a few steps to get out of bed.  Oy!  What in the world happened last night?  I walked into my husband's man cave and announced:  "I got old this week."  He responded, "Yes, dear, you did." (Him we'll talk about later.) 

As I stared at the old lady in the mirror, I decided that this happened way sooner than I expected. I am only 50!  50 is the new - whatever - I can't remember, but 50 is just too young to be bitching and moaning about getting old.  

I wondered what had changed that made this happen.  Have I let myself go out of self pity?  I couldn't imagine that being the case.  I've had bouts of self-pity since I was a toddler. This is the first time I've gone so long without grabbing control.  Is it because I am still mourning my amazing sister?  If that's it then I need to buck up, because she'd be really on my case right now.  Am I bored?  Ha! My life has become much busier than ever.  I work all day, teach at night, and try to keep up with the business end of my book sales. My friends with older children are living the dream.  They are doing exotic things like working part time and reading. I want to read again.  My reading these last few months include endless emails and the menu board outside McDonald's.

So this morning I decided to make a change. A permanent, sustainable change. While I know that getting old cannot be reversed,  I am ready to fight it as long as possible. I am going to start using this blog to journal my eating, exercise and mental health statuses. I don't think any of you will care (frankly this kind of blog sounds like it would be really boring to read), but I know that if I am accountable to potentially millions of unidentified readers, I will be more aware of my eating, exercise and mental health habits. I plan to write everyday, rain or shine, carbs or cravings.  Who knows? Maybe someone will get inspired.  Hopefully me! 

Oh, and I'm NOT starting the food report today.  I went to Dunkin Donuts on the way to work.  That would really be a bad start to my blog, don't you think?